Rosi (25)
The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get.
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14/07/2014
22:05
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I think the worst thing about falling for someone who isn't good for you is that you knew they weren't from the very beginning, but you just want for it anyway because you actually believed you could change them. But after a while, you realize that people don't just change. 
They can, maybe for a night or a few days, but in the end, they'll always have those dangerous characteristics within them, that separate the two of you, that remind you of why you shouldn't have fallen for them in the first place. 

And you end up hating yourself.
Because you knew it would happen.

You're left lying in a messy pile of consequences, wishing you could go back to when you met them and not meet them somehow. But that's also when you realize that these things just happen and they can't  be changed. 

But hopefully, when you get yourself done with it, you'll have learn something good from it, and know not to make the same mistakes again.


08/07/2014
04:00



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How fascinating it is that there are millions of people all over the world who are wide awake at 4 am missing someone. And there are millions of people sound asleep at 4 am, with no idea that they’re being missed.

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02/07/2014
14:57

 
"....When you go home at night, the evening is done. 
But for me, it’s just begun, because I’ll be staring at my ceiling in the dark, thinking about you over and over until I can finally fall asleep."

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Wanting someone you can’t have is one of the most painful things you can experience, in an almost physical way. It’s this awful weight in your stomach that never quite goes away, pulling you down, preventing you from concentrating at work, constantly reminding you that there is something great and wonderful that is just an inch or so out of your reach. And when you can see this person in a platonic context — when you can laugh, talk, have a friendly lunch — it’s all the worse. It’s being so close to something you need, but only getting a shell of it, only getting the two-dimensional version that highlights everything you still don’t have. Learning not to say “I think about you all the time,” or “Please touch me” becomes an art form, something you do to fit in and get along, like wearing a sensible skirt to the office or a bathing suit to the beach.

But I want you. I want you in a way that is hard to control, hard to keep a secret, hard to fit into my body. I feel like I am constantly bursting at the seams, struggling under the weight of a secret so great and powerful. I think about you, the way a hungry person thinks of food, the way a poor person thinks of money, the way a gasping fish thinks of getting back into the water. I think of you, all the time, and I don’t know how to stop.
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When You Want Someone You Can't Have
by Charlotte Green