Rosi (25)
The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get.
▲
X X X
{ older posts / newer posts }

02/07/2014
14:57

 
"....When you go home at night, the evening is done. 
But for me, it’s just begun, because I’ll be staring at my ceiling in the dark, thinking about you over and over until I can finally fall asleep."

--
 
Wanting someone you can’t have is one of the most painful things you can experience, in an almost physical way. It’s this awful weight in your stomach that never quite goes away, pulling you down, preventing you from concentrating at work, constantly reminding you that there is something great and wonderful that is just an inch or so out of your reach. And when you can see this person in a platonic context — when you can laugh, talk, have a friendly lunch — it’s all the worse. It’s being so close to something you need, but only getting a shell of it, only getting the two-dimensional version that highlights everything you still don’t have. Learning not to say “I think about you all the time,” or “Please touch me” becomes an art form, something you do to fit in and get along, like wearing a sensible skirt to the office or a bathing suit to the beach.

But I want you. I want you in a way that is hard to control, hard to keep a secret, hard to fit into my body. I feel like I am constantly bursting at the seams, struggling under the weight of a secret so great and powerful. I think about you, the way a hungry person thinks of food, the way a poor person thinks of money, the way a gasping fish thinks of getting back into the water. I think of you, all the time, and I don’t know how to stop.
--

When You Want Someone You Can't Have
by Charlotte Green