23/07/2016

16:20

Knowing that one of my old fellow no longer on my side was kind of sad, tbh. 

But that's okay! I'm not that close with her either.

...Well, thinking about it now, we're only close for about 2 weeks.

Ok move!

Just mins before I start to write this things up, I stumbled upon one of people I know in University year. Not so close friend of mine, but I know her because her vibe was great and I like the way she acts in society, long story short, I'm not the only one who adored her. Everyone does. She got that kind of vibe when someone saw her face, they could agree that this person is the most warm-hearted, calm, and all good things people imagine on ideal woman. 

But, that's not the point I made this up. 

It's because after (almost) six months after I finished my study, here comes the news about friends being engange or married, one by one. I haven't expected I'm already on this stage of life that somehow it make me cringes so hard, looking back on myself that still not so different from people on their early puberty ages. 

One by one people around me start to settled down with someone.

Yet I'm still busy with my own. Well, not so busy actually. But I don't even see myself being married in the near time, and I feel bad having this kind of thought. There's still lots of thing I should have achieved before I settled down with someone, and by settled --that means I would be no longer being my whole self. I'm belong to someone, and there could be limitation for everything I do in life. 

I've got night talk with meika few days ago. 

Basically our talk just focus on how's her trips in Japan, and how she really likes it by the time she visit bar and there's cute boy on it. I forgot what did I say to her, but her answer still longing on my head up 'till now. Talking about guys, or any platonic relationship.. Meika and me is basically quiet same. But she's more ??? ugh how do I describe it, she has her own motto, "Now or never" so, once she likes someone, she'll go hard on him. And the way she show her affection is totally no joke. Meanwhile, I'm the opposite of it. I'm more into passive-aggresive during this kind of relationship. 

That time, 

Meika (the girl who's easily bored in relationship) told me that even her personality is that way, she really hope that she could settled down with someone and having happy family in the end. I rolled my eyes, thought that it....was...yeah. I really hope that way too. Who doesn't? But how? 

Then days later after those call, 

Mom told me that some neighbors being nosy. Boasted around that their child is one by one getting married in near time, and they asked mom where will one of their kid be in the same stage of life like theirs. I was like..yeah? Good for you then.  

In the same day, 

HM called me after a verrrrry long time we never talk. He basically busy with his work --he said. And for the first time, we've got more than 1 hours call that night. I still remember that he jokingly said he'll planned to get married in the next 1 year if that's possible. And it's actually the time I visit him. Not trying to be over the cloud, but he agreed with the idea that he will prepare something on that day. And if my life were having that kind of scenes like in the "The Office" series, I don't know how many times I stared on the camera and make a self-talk... "Damn, here come another BS..." 

It's not like I don't like being entertained with that kind of words. 

Oh my god lord I really do. I'm that simple human being that get happy with the smallest acts and simple words. In this kind of state, you probably already guessed how far I am fly away above the sky.

But that's a joke, honey. 

That prick is just make a fun on me like we usually do each other. 

And the conclusion of this post?

No, Nothing. There's no conclusion for this. 

I'm just fed up with people and..why do they even bother if I have plan to continue my study rather than settled down with someone? why?