25/11/2017 10:34
I've never been so busy and overwhelmed with work on my past workplace, everything seems on the normal pace and I didn't feel any different compared when I was still a Uni student. Prolly because the location itself was still in the same place? Dunno.
Everything seems going way too fast and I started to get lazy about things.
Replying messages sometimes burden me and made my head dizzy, the same goes with maintaining a relationship with people. To the point, I ever felt glad when someone stops talking to me because that means I shouldn't have spare my time to maintain my relationship with them anymore, right?
But I can't lie that sometimes there's a part of me who feels empty and wish that they could just bear with this personality and understand that deep down inside I still love them the most and expecting long lasting relationship like they probably do. I'm just too overwhelmed with life, it made me sick.
I'm not a good person, nor that kind of lovely pal that will make anyone goes missing me when I'm gone or being absent in a meeting. I know some people probably just trying to bear with this lil' satan mainly because they just do not want to make the situation getting worse; because they know I'm the best drama queen in this universe.
I know y'all probably will not going to found it, nor read all of this crap. But I just want you to know that I'm so glad I'm crossing my path with you. There are tons of valuable things I've got through this opportunity. Some are good, few are gems.
I'm so glad I found the right person who I can share everything with, even the darkest one which I thought I will never tell anyone but you, Kay.
I'm so glad I found some good fellas that love books, poetry, and all of that cheesy stuff as much as I do, and still loves me sincerely even they already see some bad parts of me (me cursing and being ungrateful about things, being delusional and forgetting birthday), etc. Actually, among all of those around me, they're the only people who I can sense that they love me sincerely and all of those nice things which spilled from their mouth are truly comes from their heart. Love you, Nis & Nr.
And also you guys,
Thanks to bear with my shitty personality.
I don't deserve your kindness, actually. But thanks :)